I woke up this morning running. Running. Not a single thing was not chasing me. I could not be left alone. I was running. Couldn't stay asleep until my alarm blew. Ran to my alarm. Ran.

The alarm. The shower. the water. the coffee. the alarm. The coffee. The end. Running from a headache. Can't look up. Can't look straight. Running from the pounding and vice grip. The pounding is encapsulating my temples and overthrowing my lobes.

I am not sure I can make it through.
Give my love to Rose, tell her I'll miss her.

Rebirth to pain

If an entire species is brutally unraveled, will the parts unveil the half truths? A decomposing femur would for once reduce the pain on the universe. Rotten corpses. Composting generations in compost mountains. One hundred years later and the slate would finally be clean. Finally we would all cease to exist. Once convulsing and writhing at last the universe will be free from our ancestral cockroaches. The eminent fall of the human empire. Leave freedom in the wake of a blissful Armageddon. Only once the human reign has ended can the universe begin.

Zoo Productivity

At the San Francisco Zoo today I had a great idea. I spent the day mulling it over and finalizing the plans, and here I am now, at the end of my day, exhausted, writing my thoughts and plans for when I open my own Zoo. I think that it is an obvious fact that animals are much smarter than we really give them credit for. They are evolved and fully capable of overcoming all obstacles that they are forced to confront. I went into the Zoo knowing that, and my opinion was only stronger when I left. I have lots of respect for the animals on the Zoo, in fact, for all animals, in all Zoos, everywhere.

The most curious specimen that I observed today were the humans I encountered. All of them. It went beyond being a typical American. It went beyond being a westerner. Every single human being that I saw within the confines of the Zoo sickened me. Each of them committing an act worse than the one I had dropped my jaw at before, my disdain growing stronger with each crying child and comment that a monkey was "going hyphy". It is here that my idea began its incubation period.

Humans are animals, in the crude sense of the word as well as in the directly literal sense. Animals. A Human Zoo (H. Zoo) would be the perfect way to discuss and conduct research pertinent to each human "type". As of now I have not yet determined the classifications, but it is a detail that will work out in time. The H. Zoo will be well stocked with Humans from all over the world, mixed in and corralled. Humans from all walks of life and all regions of the earth, all treated equally and uniformly. They will be brought in massive quantities by freight train, then covered box truck. Once they reach the H. Zoo they will be placed in holding camps, where scientists will concentrate their efforts on weeding out the strong and weak, as well as observing the casual encounter patterns the specimen practice. Once the weak are weeded off and marked with a signifying badge to set them apart from the others, they will be set to fulfill mundane grounds keeping tasks. Those chosen will be put in cages with 20 foot tall fences, most of the fences will be electrocuted, so as to test the learning patterns of the specimen, and weed out the stupid faster than would normally occur in the wild. An element that will only result in breakthrough scientific results that will better the world in the future. A world more pure.

Oh wait.

fuck...

People are retarded.

GOD BLESS

FresNO

Work sent me to Fresno for 2 days. I got to bless the central valley area. Boy was it hot. Some things about it alarmed me. People seem to get off on holding the door for you here. They race to it. They hold it looooong after it seems appropriate. It made me very uncomfortable and I found it to be alarming and unnerving. Needless to say, I am glad to be back. And it rained here last night. Smelled so good.

Live Free, DIE HARD

I saw Live Free, Die Hard.

I went in with fairly low expectations. But excited none the less. Low expectations have been my attack lately. It has worked out nicely I would say. Anyways, I was blown away. Easily one of the best movies I have seen in 2007. A good friend dubbed it "an investment in an experience".

That is exactly how I feel also.

"an investment in an experience"

I wasn't riled up at all today until I wrote this.

Last night I was in Downtown San Mateo. On my way to Peet's. It is a relatively nice evening, therefore people are out and about, making parking a bit of a debacle. But here is the thing. I was expecting parking to be difficult. It was not stressing me out in the slightest. I was content to know that I would be enjoying delightful coffee with two of my best friends in mere minutes. A state of mind that if you know me, you know that it can be hard to come by.

I circled one block, nearly turned into a line of "Motorcycle Only" parking stalls, quickly swore, and continued on my way around the block. This would happen two times. Two separate corners, 4 Motorcycle stalls on each, all 8 spaces empty. Mental note made that if my stress level ever grows to get a scooter and stop bitching.

I digress.

There it was. Ahead, about 10 cars. An open stall to my right and no cars in line in front of me. I go to swoop in, only to find a motorcycle parked, all alone, in a spot made for a mid sized vehicle. NEVER MIND the abundance of motorcycle parking scattered all over the neighborhood. This self absorbed douche bag decided that his retarded rice-crotch rocket was far too important to park in its own correctly sized stall. I hope the fucker was sideswiped by a garbage truck on his way to get NOR CAL tattooed with a nautical star on his back.

My new endeavor will be to park in motorcycle stalls in situations like this. Or park right behind a bro on the new Yamaha widow maker who feels like his lime green bike is too important to park with the other shit heads.

Die Hard Preview: Has Potential

Douchebag cronie: You just took out a helicopter with a car!
Bruce Willis: I was all out of bullets.

Last night I saw a preview for the new Die Hard movie. I havn't seen any of the others. But this line alone made the movie appealing. Aside from all of the God Fearing, America Loving, 9/11 never forgetting bullshit, this sure seems like it could be entertaining.

Misanthropic Permission: Granted

My tea this morning came bearing a message.

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." - William James 1842-1910

I choose to overlook humanity and all of its terrible features and associations. If it truly is wise to overlook what makes you miserable then my new path to sanity will be through the systematic aversion to the general human population. I hope that Good Earth Tea knows that they are furthering my hatred for humanity, rather than loving the environment and helping the downtrodden.

FTW.

*New Idea Alert*

Did your mom make you write thank you notes after your birthdays and Christmas? Mine did. It sure instilled me with great morals and ideals and a healthy sense of guilt when I stopped doing it as regularly as I should.

In recent years I have become more and more cynical, bitter and all around shitty. But I still feel like Thank You notes are important. So here is what I propose. Thank you notes to people who didn't kill you for being an asshole to them. You cut someone off on your bike? If they didn't run you off, send them a thank you note. Stare for 3 seconds too long at the 300lb, 6'3 African American gentlemen at the liquor store? A sincere card would be appreciated. It seems like this could help appease the guilt I have for not sending my family thank you notes and would maintain my ability to live life with a reckless lack of self regard, leaving me free to judge and piss off- it will all be ok with a simple 41 cent stamp and a $1.99 thank you note.

Fliers

I think that all fliers should be made with glue and a xerox machine. I am not so much a fan of photo shopped fliers. It takes away from the shittyness. I understand (and use) photo shopping parts, but the final assembly should be done with glue and scissors.

First posting

The idea that I can gut my brain onto the internet for others to read is intriguing. If I can write everything that spends a fleeting moment in the hemispheres of my brain and have others attempt to digest it then I have succeeded, perhaps even succeeded in life.

Hopefully I will convey the true ridiculous nature of my stream of consciousness.